Not my story to tell.....probably one of THE most profound words of wisdom I have ever received.
I will tell you right now, I first heard this from my older sister, years and years ago.
It has become a sort of practice in my every day life this small sentence: not my story to tell.
If I hear something, I immediately ask myself, before repeating this overheard something: Does this story directly involve me? If the answer is no, then I shut the hell up. Otherwise, everything else as far as I am concerned, is hear say. It quickly becomes a one sided story I had no right in sharing in the first place.
If someone has confided in me, with or without consent to share, as far as I am concerned, that story still belongs to them. If they want to share it again and again, so be it, it is their personal story to share.
To be clear I am not referring to gossip or hear say, I am only referring to events personally connected to that person; as in: it came directly from the horse's mouth. They were involved on a first hand basis, it did happen, or will happen to them.
For instance, even if the next person I am talking to has no idea who or what or where a story I have personal knowledge about, I will not tell that story. It is simply not mine to share. And, it has nothing to do with fact or fiction, because another thing I know to be true when dealing with the human condition: there is no reality, only perception.
So, maybe the story that I was told has two sides, and I am only hearing the one. To me, that story is still not mine to tell. It is that person's perception of their reality, not mine.
This is where we need to take our freedom and run, because as far as I am concerned, we are no longer weighed down with things we may or may not have privy to...it's not ours to tell! Therefore we can (guilt free) run away...lighter and lesser burdened with other people's shit/crap/story, real or not.
Really, as uncaring as that sounds, it's not, because it's not your story to tell, so it's not your responsibility. Run! Free! Flap your arms if you must!
Gossip, I can only presume, is exhausting and heavy, the responsibility of all those stories that don't even belong to you? They must be like cement boots.
There are social media stories which are shared that I feel do not need shared. Many, many stories are not ours to share, but mostly what affects me personally, are the tragic horrible accidents that people tend to share with a 'sad face' icon. Why do people feel the need to share these?? Is that your story to tell??
If it is....share away my friend, share away....but this may be the first time a relative or loved one has heard of the event.
If this is how I go in this world? Please don't share it....and definitely don't tell my story unless I personally affected you. In which case, raise a fabulous glass of the most expensive rose you can get your hands on ( use my credit card, I will be dead, what do I care) and say: cheers babe! It's your story to tell!!
I want to thank my sister for sharing with me this incredibly sage piece of advice:
It's not my story to tell...
Thanks B,
XO
